Invites Matter

I have lost count of the number of playdates we have hosted to help build friendships and connection, but my child often wasn't invited back.

This might not sound like a big thing, but my child loves playdates. They love going to other people’s houses.

They would ask,

“When is Sarah going to invite me to her house?”

And I would fumble for an answer,

Their mum is super busy. She works late… and they have that big dog.”

We always held whole class parties and invited every child in the class, hoping that our child would be invited to other children’s parties too. When your child is struggling, feels on the edge of things, or does not quite fit the “typical child” box, invites matter even more.

I was talking to another mum recently who had exactly the same experience. I understand it can feel hard to know if a playdate or a party will suit a particular child, so sometimes you might not invite that kid... but leaving them out isn't the answer.

Teach Inclusivity at Home and in the Classroom

What I have come to realise is that part of helping our own children feel included is teaching inclusivity to all children.

Invitations are not just about a party, they are about belonging.

We can help by:

• Celebrating what makes each child unique.

• Gently challenging unkind words or labels like “weird” or “different”.

• Explaining that it is good to be unique. It is what makes the world an interesting place.

When children see that each classmate has their own special qualities, it changes how they see difference and how they treat their peers.

As parents we set the tone. We can show our children that a friend who sometimes finds things overwhelming, who prefers a quiet corner to a disco, or who communicates in a different way, is still a wonderful friend.

One of the amazing things about children is how naturally accepting they can be. Our child once joined a school session with a girl who didn't speak but wrote things down to communicate. I only found that out weeks later.

What my child noticed first was,

“She’s lovely and she likes Harry Potter.”

To them, how she communicated was not the most interesting thing about her at all.

Making Parties Welcoming

Inclusivity doesn't have to be complicated. If you are inviting a child who might need a bit of extra support, ask their parent or carer:

• “Is there anything we can do to help them enjoy the party?”

• “Would they like a quiet spot if it gets too noisy?”

• “Is there anything we should know about food or activities?”

  
  

If a child has physical needs, ask their family how to make the space accessible, whether that is a ramp, a clear path for a wheelchair, or space for medical equipment.

These small steps send a powerful message

“You are welcome here.”

Often it is the small touches that make the biggest difference and they help every child feel they belong.

Conversations at Home

Inclusion starts at home. We can:

• Celebrate what makes each child unique.

• Gently challenge our children if they use unkind labels.

• Show them that a classmate who needs quiet time, or who speaks or moves differently, is still a great friend.

Invitations might seem like a small thing, but for a child who feels on the edge of things they can mean the world!

If you want to learn more about how to make sure your celebrations are inclusive, we would love to speak to you.

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